My heart is breaking for all couples getting married in 2020. Collectively all our lives are changed and there is no normal anymore. For those planning their weddings, it’s so stressful with the added weight of a usually happy event being tainted with possible postponement.
IS POSTPONEMENT RIGHT FOR ME?
Ultimately, every couple is different and every wedding is too. There are many areas that could play a more or less important part when you’re considering postponing your wedding. There are many additional areas that could and should be considered that will be personal to you so take some time to consider your needs. Here are some areas to get you started:
What’s your timeline?
My recommendation is that couples are making their decision at the 60 day mark before their wedding. Before this date, there are things that you can do to prepare. Be proactive with your communication with vendors, start the conversation early so you are ready to act if and when you decide to. With many couples choosing to reschedule, future dates are starting to get booked so depending on how you are feeling about postponing and preferred dates, the 60 day decision mark could get bumped up.
Guests and location
Where are your guests located? Are they predominantly local or from out of town? Is this a destination wedding? Right now travel is incredibly restricted and even when things are lifted (and I hope soon!), some guests may be hesitant to travel as things continue to settle.
In the same lines as guest considerations, are your hearts set on a large celebration or is your preference for an intimate wedding? If there is some flexibility, all the better. It’s hard to say how everyone and everything will be once the pandemic ends and unfortunately no one knows for sure when that will be. Some may be ready and excited to join in on such a joyous occasion and others might still have some reservations. You know your guests best and could always check in with some key friends and family members to get a sense of their thoughts.
How are you feeling?
The wait and see game can be gut wrenching. If you’re like me, you’re at home, social distancing but basically isolating and watching for the daily updates. As things are changing constantly it’s easy to sit by and feel helpless considering and reconsidering your wedding options all the time. Some couples might feel reassured by making the decision to postpone now and take some pressure off.
Some couples might not feel up to thinking about wedding plans just yet. It’s something hard to think about and can bring up sad feelings, having to start considering what you’re going to do. That’s okay too. It’s important that you check in with yourselves and see what you are ready to handle. Sometimes that means doing nothing and there is nothing wrong with that. Make sure you check in with each other. There’s a reason you’re getting married and don’t forget that you have a partner that you can count on to get through together.
Rescheduling isn’t an easy choice to make and it is something that is now being forced upon to consider. Take some time to reflect on what you want from your day, consider your options and reach out for help if you need it! Friends and family are great for personal input and if you are feeling extra overwhelmed, talk to your wedding vendors! Trust me, we want to help you through this!
In the end, you know yourselves best and your guests. Your priorities will be different from other couples and there are certain factors that you may not want to compromise.
SO YOU HAVE DECIDED TO POSTPONE… NOW WHAT?
Reach out to your vendors
Even if you don’t have a postponement plan in place, start the conversation with each of your contracted wedding vendors (if you haven’t already). Start figuring out their policies and if they have made adjustments due to the current state of things. Vendors are getting more and more creative with how they are handling postponements and rescheduling and there is sometimes a bit of flexibility. The goal is to find a new date wherever possible and know that you chose your vendors with good reason and from the good vibes you had when you initially contacted them.
Also keep in mind that vendors are dealing with all the new information the same as everyone else, one day at a time. Vendors are figuring things out and are possibly inundated with communication coming from other couples and other vendors so although you are a priority, just be aware it could take a bit longer than usual for them to respond as they evaluate each wedding. We are here to support you!
Take some time to reevaluate your priorities
Go back to when you first started planning your wedding. Maybe your ‘musts’ have changed since then or maybe they are the same. Have an honest and realistic conversation about what’s most important for your wedding day and what that will look like. This might be in the form of who is attending your wedding, what you want your day to look like and which vendors you really want to make sure are there to document and participate in the plans.
Make a list of what and who your top priorities are and start coming up with a plan to have them fall into place.
Be flexible and realistic
As things progress, many couples are looking at new wedding dates and that may mean your ideal one is no longer available for any one or a number of your vendors. If you are able to be flexible with your expectations, provide a few date options and/or consider non-peak dates such as late winter months or even a week day wedding, it may still be possible to get most of what you want, just with a different date parameter. Trust us, when everything settles down and we get back to ‘normal’, those closest to you will want a reason to properly celebrate you!
Make sure to check in with each other
Similarly to the above when you’re making the decision to postpone, remember to check in with your partner! Don’t forget why you’re getting married and keep that in mind as you put things together as best as you can. Once you set a new date, there will be a sense of relief and hopefully calmness in knowing you have a plan and knowing how it will be executed. It’s hard when things seem outside of your control and many will find solace with a new plan in place! It’s also okay to feel sad that things are not going as you had original set out. All feelings are okay!
Communicating with your Guests
If you have a wedding website already set up, this is the perfect place to update all the information guests need. If an electronic invitation had been sent, send guests an updated message and direct them to the website to find all the latest details. If you had mailed out invitations, consider a phone call or email. It’s a great way to make sure all guests are kept apprised of what’s going on and feel like you are taking care of them. It’s also the perfect time to reach out to loved ones and check in on how they are doing. If you have a large number to contact, consider enlisting parents to assist with the guests that they know.
The way forward
With news changing all the time and so much unknown in the world, it’s hard to see the light at the end of this long tunnel. Once you have your date set and plans laid out, it’ll be a lot easier to navigate and things will start to fall into place again. Rest assured that your wedding vendors have your backs. When in doubt, contact them to get their invaluable insight, talk to friends or family who know you well.
If you’re still feeling lost and think someone with more experience might be helpful, reach out to me. I would love to know how I can support you through this time. I offer complimentary consultations and would love to lead you in the right direction or see how we can work together to plan out your special day!